一、我很懒，我很胖，我以此为荣。
I'm lazy, I'm fat, I am proud of it.
二、有了意大利面，谁还会吃老鼠呢？
With pasta, who also eat the mouse?
三、要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。
Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
四、宠我，爱我，喂饱我，不许嫌弃我。
Spoil me, love me, feed me, don't abandon me.
五、钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。
Money is not everything. There's mastercard &visa.
六、我不能让那只鸡在我的名字后面写字。
I can't let the chicken to write behind my name.
七、工作好有意思耶！尤其是看着别人工作。
"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours.
八、两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是！
When two's company, three's the result!
九、每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。
Everyone should love animals. They are so tasty.
一零、是你的总是你的，别人给的别人也会拿走。
Is your always you, others for they will take away.
一一、这个汉堡包的味道不错，但不如前八个好。
This hamburger flavor is good, but not as good as before eight.
一二、巧克力的麻烦是：你把它吃了，它就没了。
The chocolate trouble is: you ate it, it's gone.
一三、肚子大不可怕，可怕的是肚子里没有好东西。
Big belly is not terrible, terrible is stomach is no good.
一四、我希望你能知道，你是我生命中最重要的人。
I want you to know that you are the most important person in my life.
一五、爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。
Love is photogenic, it needs darkness to develop.
一六、聪明人都是未婚？结婚的人很难再聪明起来。
The wise never marry? When they marry they become otherwise.
一七、如果你不能击败你的敌人，那么就加入他们。
If you cannot defeat you the enemy, then join them.
一八、爱情来得快去得也快，只有猪肉卷才是永恒的。
Love comes to go, only pork is eternal.
一九、不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
Don't put off the work till tomorrow what excuses, can put off today.
二零、欧迪，我们去吃冰激凌吧，不过你得看着我吃。
Odie, let's go to eat ice cream, but you have to watch me eat.
二一、聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。
The wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise.
二二、欧迪，走，我们去买一个或九个汉堡包当晚餐。
Odie, go, we go to buy one or nine hamburgers for dinner.
二三、最可爱的东西莫过于一张放着猪肉卷的小桌子。
The most lovely things is a little table with pork.
二四、要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。
Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.
二五、你可以让小猫离开肉饼，但不能让肉饼离开小猫。
You can let the cat left Patty, but can't let the cat meat pie left.
二六、再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。
Every man should marry.after all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
二七、现在的梦想决定着你的将来，所以还是再睡一会吧！
Your future depends on your dreams, so go to sleep!
二八、努力工作不会导致死亡！不过我不会用自己去证实 。
Hard work never killed anybody." But I won't take the risk.
二九、如果你不想给谁东西吃的话，就得让它想着点什么。
If who don't want to give you something to eat, you have to let it thinking about something.
三零、现在的梦想决定着你的将来，所以还是再睡一会吧。
Your future depends on your dreams, so go to sleep.
三一、你竟然带了一个又老又没用的家伙回来，而且不是我。
You should take a old and useless guy came back, but not me.
三二、能从这种不让体重增加的运动中得到乐趣真是太好了。
From this don't increase the weight of it was so nice to have fun.
三三、嘘。千万不要告诉他们我做了好事，这会影响我的形象的！
SHH. Don't tell them I do something good, it will affect my image!
三四、这个世界上还有很多比钱更重要的东西，比如说意大利面。
In this world there are many more important things than money, such as pasta.
三五、生命中除了吃和睡应该还有别的意义，但我觉得没有就挺好。
Life in addition to eating and sleeping should have other meaning, but I don't think is good.
三六、加菲猫肯定不是为猪肉卷而生，但猪肉卷一定是为加菲猫而生。
Garfield is definitely not born for pork roll, but pork roll must be born to Garfield.
三七、后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。
Children in backseats cause accidents, accidents in backseats cause children.
三八、有一位漂亮的女士对乔恩说你真可爱，而你还问我有什么不对！
There is a beautiful lady to Jon creyts you really cute, and you still ask me what is wrong!
三九、应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
四零、上帝决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。
God made relatives, fortunately in choosing friends he gave you.
四一、每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个。
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
四二、不，水果蛋糕！这是我不吃的三样东西之一。另外两样是葡萄干，还有蜗牛。
No, fruit cake! This is one of the three things I don't eat. The other two are of raisins, and the snail.
四三、失败的人特点是会不断地失败。如果你想看看他的失败的话，他是不会让你失望的。
Failure is characterized by will continue to fail. If you want to look at his failure, he will not let you down.
四四、我并不是每次吃完饭就看电视，有时我边吃饭边看电视，生活中有些改变会增加乐趣。
Every time I am not watching TV right after the meal, sometimes I eat while watching TV, some changes will increase the fun in life.