一、我的精神分裂好了，我和我都很好。
I'm schizophrenic. I'm fine with myself.
二、不想讨人喜欢，只想做个迷人的坏蛋。
I don't want to be likeable, I just want to be a charming villain.
三、宁可去碰壁，也不要回家面壁。
Better hit the wall than go home.
四、做不成爱人，那么我们就做陌生人吧。
If you can't be a lover, then let's be strangers.
五、你这人特善良，特别是对不起人的时候。
You are very kind, especially when you are sorry.
六、只要钱到位，脑袋瓜子全干碎。
As long as the money is in place, the head melon seeds are all dried up.
七、我视金钱为粪土，我爸视我为化粪池。
I see money as dirt, and my dad sees me as a septic tank.
八、闭上左眼，看到的是你那可爱的腼腆。
Close your left eye and see your lovely shyness.
九、我不是个随便的人，但随便起来不是人。
I am not a casual person, but I am not a casual person.
一零、自古多情空余恨，真是恨铁不成钢！
Since ancient times, passionate and empty hate, really hate iron can't be made of steel! uuuuuuuuuu
一一、这个世间只有圆滑，没有圆满的。
This world is only smooth, there is no perfect.
一二、你贱的有出息，骚的够洋气。
You are cheap and promising. You are full of foreign spirit.
一三、此生若得幸福安稳，谁又愿颠沛流离。
If this life is happy and stable, who would like to be displaced.
一四、常言道，冰冻三尺，非微波炉不能解冻！
As the saying goes, frozen three feet, non-microwave oven can not thaw!
一五、女人只分为两种：自己的和别人的。
Women are divided into two kinds: their own and others.
一六、你现在是天真的二次方，又天真又二。
You are now the naive second party, naive and second.
一七、爱你，就像，特步，非一般的感觉。
Love you, just like, special step, extraordinary feeling.
一八、我练过气功，可以把人气死。
I've practiced Qigong, which can kill people's popularity.
一九、少拍点照，不然你自卑感会出来的。
Take fewer pictures, or you will feel inferior.
二零、老师上课的质量，决定手机此月的流量。
The quality of the teacher's class determines the flow of mobile phones this month.
二一、你玩儿的叫潜水，哥玩儿的叫潜伏。
You play diving, brother play latent.
二二、我们说好不分离，要一直一直在一起。
We say we can't be separated, we should always be together.
二三、读书读到抽筋处，文思方能如尿崩。
Reading to cramps, Wensi Fang can be like diabetes insipidus.
二四、胖子就别钻牛角尖了，钻不进的。
Fat people don't get into the bull's horn, they can't get through it.
二五、建议你喜欢我，我回消息贼快。
I suggest you like me. I'll get back to you soon.
二六、爱一个人很难，放弃自己心爱的人更难。
It's hard to love someone, but harder to give up the person you love.
二七、承认自己的伟大，就是认同自己的愚疑。
To acknowledge one's greatness is to acknowledge one's foolishness.
二八、若不是我变了模样，便是你淡忘了时光。
If I had not changed my appearance, you would have forgotten the time.
二九、累吗？累就对了，舒服是留给死人的。
Tired? Tired is right. Comfort is left to the dead.
三零、天苍苍野茫茫，你吃草我吃糖。
The sky is vast, you eat grass and I eat sugar.
三一、吃鸡就像女人的大姨妈一样，每月一次。
Eating chicken is like a woman's aunt, once a month.
三二、告诉倪一个小秘密，其实额系九尾狐。
Tell Ni a little secret. In fact, it's a Nine-Tailed fox.
三三、你脑袋别晃荡好吗，全是水咣当咣当的。
Don't shake your head. It's all water.
三四、我也想看轻自己，可我的体重不允许。
I also want to look down on myself, but my weight is not allowed.
三五、世界再大，我也只想围着你转。
No matter how big the world is, I just want to go around you.
三六、我看你是路走的太多了，迷路了吧。
I think you've gone too far. You're lost.
三七、学霸们差不多得了，别学的太脱离群众。
The bullies are almost ready. Don't be too divorced from the masses.
三八、给你最大的报复，就是活的比你幸福。
The greatest revenge for you is to live happier than you.
三九、我的软我的甜，仅对你一人可见。
My softness and my sweetness are only visible to you.
四零、你自己没那个能力，就别说别人太势力。
If you don't have that ability, don't say that others are too powerful.
四一、生命为你提的字，谱成摇滚乐的诗。
Life's words for you compose rock and roll poems.
四二、请勿骚扰，本人正在骚扰别人。
Please don't harass. I'm harassing others.
四三、我们不是情侣，我们只是爱情的搬运工。
We are not lovers, we are just porters of love.
四四、曾经的海枯石烂，抵不过好聚好散。
Once the sea withered and the rocks rotted, but good gathering and good scattering.
四五、我身在江湖，江湖却没有关于我的传说。
I am in the river and lake, but there is no legend about me.
四六、都说姐漂亮，其实都是妆出来的。
They all say that my sister is beautiful, but in fact they are all made up.
四七、如果你不装逼，我们还是好朋友。
If you don't pretend to push, we're still good friends.
四八、说好一起到白头，你却跑去焗了油！
Say good together to white head, but you ran to bake oil!
四九、白天睡觉觉，晚上打闹闹，有事死翘翘。
Sleep in the daytime, play in the evening, and die.
五零、祖国的花朵，开一朵我踩一朵。
Flowers of the motherland, open one I tread on.
五一、你的确是天使下凡，不过是脸先着地的。
You are indeed an angel, but your face first touches the ground.
五二、只许喜欢我，这不是愿望，这是命令。
Just like me, it's not a wish, it's an order.
五三、我未来的儿子，快告诉我你爹的方向。
My future son, tell me your father's direction.
五四、富贵不能*，贫贱不能移，威武不能屈。
Wealth cannot be lewd, poverty cannot be removed, and power cannot be surrendered.
五五、美女都长一个样，恐龙却各有各的丑。
Beautiful women look the same, but dinosaurs have their own ugliness.
五六、车道山前必有路，有路我也刹不住。
There must be a road in front of the driveway, and I can't stop there.
五七、我们之间没有缘分，全靠我颜值死撑。
There is no fate between us. It depends on my face.
五八、母牛撞上高压线，真是牛逼带闪电。
The cow hit the high-voltage wire. It's a cow driving lightning.
五九、小鸟虽小，可它玩的却是整个天空。
Small as the bird is, it plays with the whole sky.
六零、方便面的确很方便，但煮它还是要用电。
Instant noodles are really convenient, but they still need electricity to cook.
六一、我问电风扇我丑吗，它摇头摇了一晚上。
I asked the fan if I was ugly. It shook its head all night.
六二、我自横刀向天笑，笑完我就去睡觉。
I laughed at the sky with my knife and went to bed after laughing.
六三、我很好，我没事，只是有点想砍人。
I'm fine. I'm fine. I just want to cut people off.
六四、终于明白、你放不下的不是俄、而是她。
Finally understand, you can not let go of Russia, but she.